My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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