My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
