Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
