you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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