I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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