I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
