Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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