Is it because I queefed?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
