I'm laying in your front yard are you home
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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