What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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