Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
