end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
