worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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