After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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