ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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