Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
