Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
