I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she smelled like a LAN party
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
