Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
