Just cropdusted the office
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
