He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
