im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
