she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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