im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
