Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
