there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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