There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
soo... how was my night?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
