you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
