I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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