what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
