I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
