Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
