Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
