I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
