Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
