I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
