He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
