my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
