I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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