and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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