whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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