sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
