There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
