dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
there is puke in my bra ... again
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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