It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
