my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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