bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So gin and wine won't be happening again
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
