my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
