SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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