Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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